When I started to prepare for my trip to India I did the usual things: passport and visa requirements, made sure I had a great camera, and did as much research as I could on this popular yet in ways elusive travel destination. I read as many travel blogs as I could but found that the information I was looking for was not as readily accessible. Don’t get me wrong, I loved reading about people’s impressions and touring but I was looking for practical information. I will say that after being in India my impressions are much different and as with most international travel experiences, pure academic research will never fully prepare you for the real deal.
So I did my blog in part to let my family know that I was still alive and to share where I’ve been as well as my photos. The other reason was to give folks looking for information on India some additional resources to prepare themselves. This is of course purely my opinion and experience and I found that people travel very differently and various things are important. All of the things I am sharing I learned from talking to a lot of folks while traveling and trial and error experiences. The Lonely Planet and other guidebooks are fabulous but I by far preferred learning the harder way

Here are some tips and info, I’l try to organize them for easy reading:
A lot of folks thought that I was brave for embarking on this adventure alone and I guess it just depends on your outlook. For me this was a trip that I had planned to take my whole life. I was born in India and left at one of Mother Teresa’s orphanages before being adopted by a US couple as a baby. To me this was a chance to reconnect with a piece of myself that I never knew very much about, a rather emotionally charged trip. Questions and expectations flew around my mind in the months prior to my departure, fear and excitement welled inside me to a frenzied point. A week before I left a sadness overtook me as I realized that I had to let go of any expectations and hopes , a calm came over me and by far this was the best thing I could do. I got on the plane readying myself for a long and fun journey.

Flights:
I flew from the US to Bangkok as I found it cheaper than going directly to Calcutta which was my first destination in India. My friend and I then took a flight from Bangkok to Calcutta on Jet Airways a local Indian airline. This is a popular connection and many foreigners and Indians take advantage of it as vacations in Bangkok are as cheap if not more than India.

Flying within India is very cheap..I never paid more than $100 for a flight even booking a mere day before my flight departure.

To find the cheapest flights I went to www.yatra.com which is India’s version of yahoo farechase. However use of international(non India) credit cards was not allowed at the time I booked. You have a few options: book through an Indian travel agent (who will usually charge a small commission fee or what I did was go directly to the airlines websites to book my tickets(did this on both www.jetairways.com and www.spicejet.com) and used my credit card.

Indian airports are bustling and expect to go through atleast three to four security checkpoints which are seperate for men and women, keep your boarding pass and passport handy through the whole process as you will be asked for it at each checkpoint.

Mobile phones:
This option is not one that most travelers take advantage of but since I was traveling alone and knew I would be going to multiple places I wanted to have it for emergencies. I brought my quad band phone from the US with me and simply put an Indian SIM card in it. I selected Vodaphone but there are others like Airtel that lots of folks use. It was a pay as I go phone plan with text messages. They really don’t have voice mail in India and most people just SMS(text) to leave another person a message. When I was there, the SIM cost me roughly $18 USD and I paid for about a month’s worth of minutes and SMS at about $20. I was able to make international calls (US, Thailand) at about 25 cents a minute. I had great coverage other than a few places in the North and was really happy that I had the phone.

Internet Cafes:
These were both the business and social centers for foreigners in every city I went to in India. You can: -use the internet which ranged from 20cents to $1(USD) per hour depending where you were in India
-book train or plane tickets for a small commission fee(a percentage of the ticket price)
-get help with all your technological needs from buying memory cards to burning pictures onto CDs
-book tours to local events and places
But perhaps the greatest benefit is talking to both the Indian owners who are quite knowledgeable and chat with foreigners who have usually traveled to other parts of the country. Since I had no set plan and stubbornly clung to not bringing or buying the holy grail of traveling: The Lonely Planet, this was a great place for me to decide what my travel itinerary would be. I also met a lot of great friends at the internet cafe that I still keep in touch with today. I really wanted to travel alone but lots of folks found travel partners while checking their email or surfing the internet.

Hotels:
The more aggravating part of India for me was that you had to haggle for prices on a lot of things and hotels was one of them. Surprisingly, arguing about prices was not something that my personality was suited for and I muddled through. I’m going to put what I paid for hotels(which steered more towards the medium range) but know that at any of these places there were people paying more and some paying less…all depends on your negotiating skills and stamina. When I landed in a new city I would ask other foreigners what they paid to get a range.

There were a few things that were very important to me in terms of traveling and one of those was staying in my own hotel room with my own bathroom. I always asked to see the room first, asked if it had hot water and whether breakfast was included in the price. You literally spend so little time by yourself that having a small place away from everything is quite the blessing. I always tried to have an idea of a few places I would check out when arriving in a town and also what the price I was willing to pay. I heard from others that many of the hotels recommended in the Lonely Planet were booked due to their popularity and so always talk to folks and have some back ups.

When you get out of the train station or airport there will be a gaggle of rickshaw or taxi drivers all vying for your business, at the airports opt for the prepaid taxis. These guys seem really nice but will try to steer you towards a specific hotel usually because they are getting a commission to take you there. I read somewhere and used a lot to say that I was meeting a friend at the hotel that I wanted to go to in oder to not waste time looking at others. Typically the places these guys will take you are over priced and will take advantage of tired foreigners. I was more particular than most travelers and found it quite easy to find a place with no advance reservation.

Where I stayed:
Hotel Lytton in Calcutta: This is billed as a higher end hotel and you certainly pay a hefty price at $100 USD for a room. This was the first place I stayed in after arriving in India and was willing to pay a higher price initially while I acclimated to my new surroundings. I did eventually negotiate a much lower price after the first few days of my stay. This isn’t luxurious in terms of western standards but was clean, had air conditioning, hot water, internet on the premises(though I never used it) and a great continental breakfast. The staff there were amazingly kind and helpful and gave me a lot of tips on things to see in Calcutta. You can check out there website at: http://www.lyttonhotelindia.com/

When I came back to Calcutta I needed to spend a bit less on hotels and opted for some cheaper choices:
First was the Ashreen Guest House ($13) a block from the major traveler area which was a nice place for the most part though the room that I was in didn’t have a hot shower but rather a bucket of hot water was brought in for me every day. The beds in general were not so great in India but luckily most of the days I found myself so exhausted that it didn’t really matter. They were quite disorganized and I eventually left there after my friend arrived in Calcutta because they lost his reservation and couldn’t give him a room.
We then went to the Super Guest House which is owned by a very sweet Bangladeshi man that was quite curious about me and cut me a deal on our rooms ($10) which included cable tv, hot shower and a few buddies in the form of cockroaches. By this point in my trip I was pretty use to living in less than pristine living quarters and wasn’t bothered by my new friends.

In Kochin I stayed at the Hotel White Rose http://hotelwhiterose.com ($11) which is owned by a young Indian man and run by his friends and him. The room was clean, it included cable tv, hot water, on site internet and though there were rooms that has air conditioning, mine was not one of them. One of the great features of this hotel is the rooftop dining area where you can sip coffee, eat masala dosas and scan the Fort Kochin skyline.

In Agra I stayed at the Maya Hotel ($18) which had the most character of any hotel that I stayed in India and was the only place I had the luxury of taking a hot bath!!! The rooms were decorated with local artwork and the beds had marble frames. It was fairly clean and they supplied a space heater because it was freezing in Agra when I was there. There is a rooftop restaurant as well as one indoors and the food was quite incredible. This hotel was tremendously over priced and the owner a bit smarmy, I was only able to negotiate down to this price by suggesting I would be writing a review.

Hotel Haifa ($12) in Varanasi http://hotelhaifavns.com/ was quite lovely with hot water and the best water pressure I had, cable tv, on site internet and a restaurant downstairs. The staff were incredibly nice and helpful and the foreigner crowd was pretty diverse and interesting as well.

Trains:
There are quite comprehensive and convenient routes that trains take in India and train travel is by far the most popular and common way of traveling, I spent 5 nights on a train. That being said, the first time that I took a train trip was in Chennai and I was fairly convinced that I would end up living in the station while I tried to figure out the system.

I am definitely a fly by the seat of my pants traveler but I highly recommend booking a train ticket in advance if possible. I booked most of my tickets through travel agents (agents are almost always at hotels or internet cafes) because the system is somewhat nuanced and paid a $2 commission fee, the tickets never being more then $35(which was north to south). Though you can book them yourself by going to the train station in person or on the Indian government website http://www.indianrail.gov.in/

On Republic Day I joked with one of my Indian friends that perhaps India could celebrate their independence from Britain by buying some trains that were made after the Raj left. The trains are bare bones in terms of western standards but are nonetheless nice to travel on. There are four basic classes: sleeper, 3ac, 2ac and first class each costing more than the other. The sleeper and 3ac compartments have three bunks on each side of a compartment, six total in a cubicle area. The 3ac on up supply blankets, pillows and hand towels and have air conditioning and heat while traveling depending on the weather. I traveled mostly on the 3ac class with the exception being from Agra to Varanasi in which I was wishing I was not in sleeper class as I didn’t have a blanket and was freezing the entire trip.

When you receive your ticket it will say what your class, train compartment and seat is…this was information I didn’t understand on my first train ride and hopped on the first compartment I could which turned out to be the wrong one. If it wasn’t for some very nice natives I probably would still be at that train station trying to figure things out. Even if you are wait listed, hop on a compartment in the class you have purchased a ticket on and wait for the ticket taker or ti ti (train staff) to come by to figure out where your seat is, some folks I spoke to were able to pay the ti ti a little something something for better seats. The ticket takers come by usually within the first hour of your trip and check everyone’s ticket, if you are sleeping they will wake you up so be prepared.

I heard all kinds of horror stories about theft of property and seats on Indian trains but never experienced any trouble. Like anything, you need to be aware of your surroundings and keep your passport and other items you need on or close to your body at all times. I also had heard that westerners end up paying more than Indians but I never experienced that. However, you do need to be aware of scams which there are many. Travel “agents” will lure unsuspecting foreigners from the train stations promising to book travel and then end up charging three times or more than the price you would pay if you stayed and bought your ticket at the station. Make sure that the travel agents you use are reputable and if possible be aware of how much a ticket should cost before purchasing, again I booked my tickets through folks at the internet cafes I frequented or the hotels I stayed at. I also spoke to foreigners that had their money and property stolen by other foreigners so take nothing for granted.

The routes are typically from a city in the north to a city in the south or east to west (or vice versa) and they do not announce stops along the way. Even if you purchase a ticket between two stops within a route do not assume that your final destination is the last destination on the route. In the beginning I either asked the ti ti or folks within my bunk area to let me know when my stop was(which was often at 2am) and after becoming a bit more savvy I counted the number of stops between my departure and destination and roughly when I would arrive to know when to get off. Time tables on trains (and frankly in India generally) are approximations so don’t expect tight departure or arrival times, just relax and enjoy the ride.

Train rides are really fun cultural experiences as they are bustling and full of activity. You will see everything from business men to entire families traveling together. On every train trip I took there was atleast one guy who was jabbering away on one or at times two cell phones and this entertained me to no end, I would make up stories about what they were talking about. At about 9pm, everyone folds down their bunks and nestles in to sleep for the night. Despite the snoring and rustling of 50 plus sleepers, I slept like a baby on the train and found the bunks to be perfectly comfortable. The bathrooms are dirty, there’s no other way to describe them and you need to bring your own toilet paper because there is none supplied. In each train compartment there is atleast one western toilet which was often cleaner (not clean) than the others because of their infrequent use.

Remember the rule of carrying your passport and other important items on your person, this includes when you sleep and go to the bathroom.

Interrupting your sleep are the wallahs hawking everything from chai to socks. They speak mostly Hindi so keep an eye open if you want snacks or something to drink, the train staff come around with meals as well usually curry and rice. I usually had a restaurant pack me up some fruit and bread for my train rides because I got a little sick the first time I had the food. Depending on the time of day you can jump off the train quickly at the stations to grab a snack.

Taxis and rickshaws:
Its pretty easy to get a ride where you want as taxis and rickshaws are readily available, in fact in most places I would say no to a bunch of folks offering me a ride. Taxis in the bigger cities have meters and you ask them to set the meter and at the end of the trip they have a laminated guide to what the price is (prices are different than what they show on the meter.) You can take a taxi without a meter but make sure you agree on a firm price and destination before you get in. Rickshaws don’t have meters but tend towards consistent prices, again ask and agree about price beforehand.

Volunteering:
There are literally hundred of non governmental organizations in India and the volunteer opportunities abound. I volunteered at the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta and will give info about this experience. The Missionaries of Charity was the first order established by Mother Teresa in order to “serve the poorest of the poor” and since its beginning has grown dramatically not only in Calcutta but also throughout India. It is a coveted destination for those looking to give of themselves and emulate Mother Teresa’s integrity and charity.

In order to volunteer for the Missionaries of Charity you have to go through one of their regularly scheduled volunteer orientations. I believe that its pretty well set on Wednesday afternoon from 3-5pm, the order and all of their homes are closed daily from 12-3 and all day Thursdays so the nuns can pray and engage in their devotion to God. In Calcutta you go to the Mother House for the orientation and believe thats pretty much true throughout India.

During orientation you supply them basic contact information for yourself including your passport number. The coordinators tell you more about the order as well as the different homes they have and volunteer opportunities, there are nine homes just in Calcutta. They are pretty good about not pushing any religion but will kindly remind you of the two daily masses you are free to attend (I never made it to these ). You then meet with the coordinators individually to select your assignment, there are 8-12 and 3-5:30 shifts and you are able to work one or two of these. You can also work at multiple sites depending on your stamina or interests.

I volunteered at Shishu Bhavan which is the orphanage I was an infant at a long time ago. It was a bit chaotic and disorganized at first but I just jumped in and started to play with the kids and helped the Indian women who worked there with “school.” The kids took a little time to warm up to me but it really turned out to be a very rewarding experience! The nuns there are incredibly kind and I was really impressed by how seamless the relationship between the order and the locals was despite cultural and religious differences. All of the Indians I spoke to really loved Mother Teresa and the nuns truly loved the locals!!

Tourist destinations etc.:
I’m not going to go into depth about anything in particular because there is A LOT of information out there about places to go and things to see. If anyone has questions about the places I went, I will be happy to answer them.

This is a somewhat abbreviated version but I could go on forever, I’ll try to add other things later. Hope this is helpful!

Found the article online, here it is:

Amazing Amanda

SHE is certainly of a different calibre, a mettle that is rare to find. Born in India and currently a legal advocate in the United States, Amanda Mays is surprised at the kind of attention she is getting in Kerala. And all for the single reason that she is physically challenged _ born without hands.

As we take leave, she asks, “Can you send me a copy of the paper? When I spoke to my mom about this interview, she said she would love to see the article.” Looking at this bold woman, we can only marvel at her energy levels!

http://www.newindpress.com/NewsItems.asp?ID=IEX20080122002526

Well, the nice people at US immigration decided to let me back in the country and so now I am home again.  I left about 3:30am Bangkok time after about 20 minutes of sleep for the previous 24 hours…really, who needs sleep.  My taxi driver was a man that many of Nina and Scott’s friends use and he was very sweet.  He asked me when I would be returning to Bangkok and I answered jokingly “When I have money again”, not sure if that answer didn’t satisfy him or his English was limited but he asked me the same question two more times.  Feeling too tired to be witty I stubbornly clung to my same answer which elicited big grins.

When I arrived at the airport he got out and gave me a big hug and told me that he loved me…hmmm…again not sure if this was a cultural difference or my aura is more powerful then I thought.  I pushed my bags in and dropped them three times while the airport staff and police officers looked on with big grins and thumbs up.  Each time I dropped my bags there were bigger grins and more emphatic thumbs up.  I got through ticketing and headed onto immigration which I found three lines of 50 plus people…yes, this is about 4am.  The Thai worker than directed me to go to the diplomat/official passport line of which there were about three people.  I trudged over and felt a bit embarrassed to have bypassed all of these other people waiting, I looked and saw the wheelchair guy sign and realized that this line was for people with disabilities.  I felt a little sheepish but not enough to go back to the other line…my experiece with the Thais this trip was much different than the last time, I found them all to be quite kind and helpful.  Who knows, maybe word of my celebrity spread from India across Asia or more realistically I was in a more positive and open mind frame 

I was escorted onto the plane first and settled in for another 24 hours of traveling.  The flights actually seemed to go by quickly, after a few 12 plus hour train rides in India, I learned how to be a bit more mellow when traveling.  I arrived in Portland and my friends picked me up and off we went to a coffee shop because thats what you do in Portland.  Vanity was a luxury I let go after about two days in India and I didn’t give much thought to my appearance.  As I stood there in my sweats, hair a mess, no makeup and smelling a little like I hadn’t showered in 24 hours I looked around the coffee shop and noticed that I actually didn’t look much different than the other folks in the coffee shop.  Gotta love a city where you can come right off a 24 hour international flight and blend in with everyone

There have been a few moments where its a little weird to be home, I find myself forgetting the routines that were so entrenched before I left.  I had a luxurious morning drinking amazing local coffee and perusing my usual news sites.  What a thrill to take a shower and feel clean and smelling nice.  And of course the highlight of being back is catching up with all of the people I love here.  I called my Mom when I arrived in Seattle to assure her that I had safely returned to American soil.

So, my trip abroad is not what I would call a typical travel experience for an American.  As I read some of my blog entries its so amazing to me that I was the person who experienced all of this.  I left India without seeing a single temple, most of my pictures are not of buildings and scenery but of people(partly because when I would try to take pictures, 30 plus folks would gather around and block my view) and I didn’t learn anything about my biological family.  I did however learn a whole lot about myself, the incredible love and generosity of the Indian and Thai people and added a few more people who will be my friends for life.  Could I ask for anything better?

This trip would not have been possible without the loving support that you all gave me.  It was so wonderful to come back after a physically and often emotionally exhausting day in India and hear encouraging words from all of you.  Thank you so much for coming along my journey with me, I hope that it was as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write.  Now I need to be productive again and find a job…but who knows what or when my next adventure will be…stay posted!!

I arrived safe and sound Monday night and was greeted cheerily by Sophie and Zack and a drawing they did that said  “Welcome to Thailand Antie”, does it get any better than that?  I was so happy to see them and they me.  Supee, the resident cook made my favorite Thai dish Som Tum and has been spoiling me with delicious food ever since.  It took me a little bit of time to get to sleep that night because I had to adjust to the silence of Nina and Scott’s neighborhood and felt a bit lonely and missing the cockroaches that had shared space with me in India…how ever will I adjust.

The next morning a little person named Zack decided to come and crawl into bed with me about 5:30am despite repeated requests by his mother and sister to let me sleep.  Zack thought it best to take this time of the day to catch me up on his life since he last saw me with subjects ranging from whom he would like as a teacher next year to a rabbit he saw at the beach that was really cute and orange.  Understanding that my time in Bangkok was probably not going to be full of lazy mornings sleeping in, I conceded and Zack and I went downstairs to greet the rest of the family.  I tried to answer the millions of questions directed at me from the kids while Scott, Nina and Supee bustled around getting everyone ready for school.

Later that day I went to their school to meet Nina for lunch and speak to her class (the last time I visited the kids were so distracted by my presence that they couldn’t focus on their schoolwork.)  In the meantime, Sophie asked that I also speak to her class and so I prepared myself to face two second grade classes my first day in Bangkok.  Little hands flew up with fury and questions like “how do you dress yourself” and “how do you drive” came my direction.  I got “how do you read?” a few times, hmmmm….I explained that we use our minds to read not our hands but demonstrated how I held a book while reading to them.   They were all very cute and I was glad to show them that folks with disabilities can be just like anyone else, Thais tend to keep their people with disabilities in institutions or at home.

The last couple of mornings I have been awoken early again, yesterday I was on french braiding duty and today Sophie wanted to give me the valentine she made me   The traveling bug in me has been allayed some now and I am just enjoying relaxing, showering in an actual shower and of course spending time with the family here!!!

I am a serious dork when it comes to the titles of my blog but what can I do…..

So, in less than 24 hours I leave India for Bangkok and I was thinking last night about all of the people that I have met and the things that I have seen…I won’t list them all, this isn’t one of those study guides for the final quiz to see if you’ve been reading.

As a lovely end to my trip I spent the morning with Raj and his family, his wife Rajni dressed me up in one of her sarees and did my makeup and put jewelery on me.  The children and I read through a book of maps and we talked about the places where we wanted to visit….they are amazing, sometimes when I talk to them I forget how young they are.

Then unfortunately I’ve been a little sick and have been moving at a molasses pace.  The locals sensing my impending departure have started to invite me to their homes and when I say that I am leaving tomorrow they tell me just to stay longer, lol.  I could get stuck in the Calcutta vortex forever….

But its time for me to say goodbye and trade in my celebrity for a bit more of an ordinary existence. Its hard to articulate how much I have enjoyed this trip….India is not for everyone but it definitely has me wrapped around its finger.  Starting and ending my trip with the love and generosity of Raj and his family has made such an impact on me.  Meeting Amir, Celine and other friends from around the world has been an unexpected treat…the sisters at the Missionaries of Charity make me giggle everytime I think about my time there.  I’ve traded my pristine princess ways and now say goodnight to the cockroaches in my room, hello to the goats eating garbage on the sidewalk and always always smile and eye contact for those who talk to me.

So many people say that a trip like this is life changing….its more life enhancing to me.  The people that I’ve talked to and met are some of the most kind and generous and…happy, they are happy with their lives, celebrate the health of their families, love their country and welcome people from all over the world.

So, India…its time for us to part for awhile.  I have loved you and at times hated you but have always felt an enormous gratitude that I started my life with you…..

Namaste.

I guess the description of me meandering down the street while shop owners are worried about opening is not the best vision…but to clarify, I went for a delicious sizzling brownie with ice cream   A girl has to have priorities.

Honestly, there have been a few times where I do what may be considered iffy not the safest of situations but my motto here has been “When in India, do as the Indians…”  I think if they can do it safely, then why not me.  I never once have feared for my safety or wellbeing except perhaps for a few food stalls I’ve eaten at.

Amir and I went to the huge market over here and shot some more videos of the crowds that gather when I drink chai.  Its a bit of a surreal moment to look up and see 30 plus brown faces staring at me like I’m an alien from another planet…. Suppose its a good thing I’m not shy or introverted

Off to enjoy my last few days!  Sorry about the weather, hope its all gone by the time I get back ……

Yesterday the city was quiet and most businesses were closed.  There was a protest quite a distance from here and the police killed 5 people apparently violating the no shooting above the waist rule.  West Bengal is governed by the Communist Party here in India and the opposition called for a bandh which basically means a shut down of the city for 24 hours.  They do not have official power to do this but apparently if shop owners stay open then there have been incidents of opposition supporters destroying property and stores.  So yesterday I was able to walk in the middle of the road to my latest find Coffe Day which is India’s version of Starbucks where I enjoyed an iced latte and sizzling brownie…yum.

Other than that I’ve just puttered around and enjoyed the people.  My friend Amir took a video yesterday of a growing crowd while I drank chai at a street stall.  It was quite funny and should be entered into the Indian version of funniest home videos if it exists….lol.

Went back to the orphanage yesterday and met with Sister MM who I get the feeling may think of me as a dissapointment.  I feel like I’m talking to a passive agressively dissaproving grandmother as she tells me stories about other adoptees who have gone off to get married, gotten great jobs, have kids and make a ton of money.  Then she looks at me sideways and says “but you are so independent, you will get these things when its time….right?”  LOL!!  I love it.  I also did a big no no, not thinking I wore one of my tourist t shirts of Krishna playing the flute seductively to Radha and another nun pointed at it with a gasp.  “Aren’t you Catholic?  You should promote Jesus and no other idols.”  I turned red and apologized for my clear oversight and religious disrespect….not a good idea my friends to upset nuns who once changed your diapers

Four more days and then off to hang out with a couple of the loves of my life…Sophie and Zack, I’m really looking forward to hanging out with Nina and her family…and to sleeping in the same place for longer than a week

As my train lurched into the Howrah railway station I was struck by how different each place in India looks from each other. Calcutta definitely has the more worn down and poor look on the outside, but the moment that I set foot on Sudder St. (where all the foreigners stay) and was greeted warmly by the folks on the street I thought…the people in Calcutta have a charm not to be matched elsewhere. Perhaps its because I’ve been here before, know the people or because I’m nearing the end of my time in India…but I feel at home in Calcutta and am glad I’m ending my trip here.

Traveling around India has given me a million new places I need to visit…the average foreigner spends a minimum of 4 months in India, my time is just a blink. Traveling alone has been really easy and actually I don’t feel like I’ve traveled alone. Everyplace I go, I meet new people whether Indian or foreigner and usually have to make time to be by myself. My friend Amir is coming into Calcutta tomorrow and of course my favorite Indian, Raj is here…..

I’ve added all of the pictures I have for my trip so far minus the ones I lost Enjoy!!

Well it happened…for the first time in India I found people who didn’t think that I was the best thing since sliced bread.  My friend Celine and I went in search of the widow ashrams that are here in Varansi and had a very difficult time.  In a more draconian interpretation of Hinduism, women are not considered human without a linkage of a male relative whether father, brother, husband or son.  If a woman loses her husband through death then it is perceived that she has failed somehow to keep him.  Let me interject here by saying…this is one segment of the Indian population and I am NOT saying that all or most Indians practice this custom.

As I said before Varanasi is a very holy city where pilgrims from all over to bathe in the Ganges(they call Ganga) to wash away karma and free them(muksha.)  Also, Hindus come here to give final ceremonial end to a person’s life by burning their body by one of the ghats along the Ganga.  Many people come here right before or close to death so that they may be burned.  It is believed that the burning allows the soul to completely separate from this life and earth and if the body still exists then the soul will be attached to it.  The male members of the family(women are not allowed, I’m told because they are too emotional) first wash the body in the Ganga.  One male family member(usually father or son) shaves their head and wear a white outfit called kapthl then circle the body five times with straw that is on fire..once for each element.  They then set the pyre and body on fire while saying prayers, the body takes about two hours to burn and then the ashes are thrown into the Ganga while the family walks away not looking.  I’m sure there are things I’ve omitted but thats the general ceremony.  There are two main burning ghats and the operate 24 hours a day.  Not all are able to do this ceremony as the wood is very expensive, also babies, sadhus(holy men), pregnant women, those with leprosy, snake bit victims and animals are not burned but go directly into the Ganga because they are already considered pure.

As I walked along the ghats I saw burning ceremonies, a few wedding ceremonies and children and life all around.  Here they are all and the same…for Hindus heres these are all merely different stages of life and the soul including the burning ceremonies.   Varanasi is truly a photographers dream come true and I took many from the boat on the river and walking along the ghats including the evening puja(prayer ceremony.)  I have to wait until Calcutta to put them up.

Celine and I went to an astrologer/guru yesterday and I learned that I will have a happy life and die at 82   Varansi is full of sadhus and gurus and they have many disciples who follow them and get spiritual advice.  Not so much my cup of tea…really the fact that you have to bow to your guru and kiss their feet was where I walked the other way.  Many foreigners come here and stay in the ashrams or on the streets in service of their chosen guru.  Hmmmmm…

I have been trying to get answers about why people with disabilities are treated so poorly(again, not all) but I am treated like a rockstar and frankly at best I hear that I am just someone they never see.  The fact that I am and was born in India makes a big difference because it is not completely strange to see a white westerner with disabilities.  Somehow, I think that I am perceived as defying karma…some Hindus believe that a disability is punishment for past life or current bad deeds.  Some here say that it is because I’ve made something of myself while people in India are merely beggars or considered lazy.  I point out that these people have no choice…I did.

Back to the widows…some are dropped off here by there families to live out there days in ashrams though many end up living in dirty, small homes with other widows.  They shave their heads and wear plain white saris as to not be attractive, they also restrict their diets in an attempt to cleanse or purify themselves before death.  The Indian govt is suppose to be paying a monthly amount to the widows but many never see this money and are forced to beg or rely on charity..in extreme cases, younger widows are forced into prostitutions.  There is a home here opened by the Missionaries of Charity for abandoned widows and that seems to be the better alternative.  Again, not saying that all widows end up like this..just sharing my experience.

Celine and I tried for hours to find the widow ashrams and found that most people either didn’t want to talk about it or gave us odd directions.  One man said he would take us there but instead took us to a place where he wanted us to make a donation for those who cannot afford to be burned on the ghats.  Finally we were directed to a dark and dank staircase that lead into a dirty hallway and into a room where 4 women sat.  It was one room with a Hindu altar in the middle and some clothes lying on the ground.  The women greeted us warmly and offered us a mat to sit on, they only spoke Hindi and we could not really communicate with them.  They were curious about my lack of arms and took of my sweatshirt to show them…they wanted me to immediately cover up.  Celine went to get chai for all of us and I was left with them as they chattered away and earnestly tried to tell me something I could not understand.  After about 10 minutes despite our language barrier it became apparent they wanted me to leave, I gave them some money and left.  Celine brought them the chai and was again “told” that they asked me to leave and she felt like she should as well.  I haven’t spoken to any natives(Indians) about this but my only guess is that my disability is more of a curse then their widowhood and may affect their purifying themselves.  Though I’ve never been asked to leave, I have been asked to “cover up” by wearing a shawl or my sweatshirt to hide the fact that I have no arms.  I’ll ask my Indian friend about this when I return to Calcutta.  I was sad..not for myself, but for them and many others who are imprisoned by these beliefs and customs.

I am going to a Buddhist area today called Sanarth and the Bodi tree there is said to come from the sapling of the Bodi tree where the Buddha received enlightenment.  Then I take a train back to Calcutta for my last jaunt in India.  More then.

I am in Varansi and brought my camera and memory card to the resident tech genius in desperate hope that I will be able to recover my pictures from the Taj and my backwater tour in Kochin but no such luck   He is cleaning the memory card off but it seems there were some hidden files that were taking space up so as much as I wanted to share the pictures with you instead I will have to borrow from my friends….

I reached Varanasi yesterday afternoon after a 14 hour train ride from Agra.  UP has had a unusual cold streak and I was definitely feeling it on the train ride.  The class we were in did not give blankets and a group of Indian men kindly offered me one of theirs until we were able to pay a train worker to give us a few.  Even with the blanket completely covering me huddled in the fetal position I was very cold and reasoned with God that it would be unusually cruel to take my feet with frostbite…I’m not Job.  Luckily, God agreed and I successfully staved off hypothermia and arrived with all body parts still functioning.

One of the people at the Ashram that I will be visiting here kindly met us at the train station and arranged a lovely hotel for us.  After a long nap, I met up with Celine(whom I met in Kolkata), her friend Peggy and Shiyas and we ventured towards the main ghat.  I like Varanasi very much, its cool and less polluted but still has the hustle and bustle of a bigger city.

Varanasi is one of the holiest places for Hindus, Indians from around the country come to bathe in the Ganges and there are burning ceremonies to send loved ones into the next life(will explain more later.)  There are cows everywhere..every shape and size and I asked the stupid question why cows are holy…the matter of fact answer:  He is the ride for Lord Krishna.

Today we take a boat ride on the Ganga and explore more of the ghats…hopefully my newly clean memory card will allow me to take and save great pictures!!  Until later..