Donkeys in Agra…

There some sort of odd karma with me and train stations in big cities in India.  Shiyas decided to accompany me to the Taj as he has never seen it ands we are meeting some friends in Varanasi in a couple of days.   So we flew into Delhi which though still a huge city has a very distinct different feeling from Calcutta and took the tin can that is an auto rickshaw to the train station to get a evening train to Agra.  We were told that we needed to go to another place to get our tickets and a few Indian gents decided to escort us.  We were brought to a travel agency which in itself was a bit suspicious and brought up to a room where a man said he would arrange our tickets.  Completely ignoring and dismissing my questions(India is still rather sexist) he asked Shiyas about our travel plans.  I asked him to just check on the train tickets, he did some typing and put on a concerned look and advised us that the trains for Agra were completely full for two days.  Hmmmmm….. then he launched into some speech about taking a taxi for 4800 rupees, he said the train tickets were 750 rupees…hmmmm…  Shiyas then excused himself to go to the atm and gave me a look that said “don’t buy, just stall”, so I waited and chatted with the guy a little about India and his relatives in the US.  Shyias then called me and said he had bought the tickets for 300 rupees…yeah!!  Have to say I was really happy Shiyas was there because its these kind of scenarios that exhaust me and I just would have given in.  We ate at a place that I silently prayed I wouldn’t get sick from as I avoided seeing the rat that scurried in and got on the train. It is freezing here in Agra…I know I know…very little sympathy from you all at home, but at 35 degrees at night and me with summer clothes and flip flops it took me awhile to warm up.

Our place in Agra is luxurious, I say that because today I was able to take a hot bath.  Its been awhile since I’ve showered in hot water let alone had a bath….I felt so decadent.  I ventured out to the street and let Shiyas sleep ( the man usually works about 16 hours a day) and chatted with a local guy on how I could get into the Taj at the Indian price of 20 rupees rather than the foreigner price of 750 rupees.  The Taj is closed today so we will see The Fort and a few other things and unfortunately tomorrow French President Nicolas Sarkozy will be at the Taj and I’m hoping that his visit won’t make it crazier than usual.  All in all, I’m pretty excited about it!!

I’ve seen cows roaming the streets in EVERY Indian city and town I’ve been in but Agra is the first for donkeys…will post pictures later along with the Taj!!

Symbolism

A lot of the interaction that I have with others is not really about me.  Its about what I represent to the other person, whether its someone who has no arms or an American, the questions and discussions I encounter typically are about these two subjects.  I am missing Nina a bit more today, it would be nice to chat with someone who knows me.  Its an ebb and flow, I feel a responsibility to represent the US and myself well…understanding that most people don’t have a lot or any exposure to someone who has no arms and Americans.  Even the other western travelers have a lot of preconceived ideas of what Americans are like.  I was speaking to an Israeli woman this morning about the current Presidential primaries and the different candidates, it became quickly apparent that she was not a huge fan of the US and our politics.  I try to explain to others whether Indian, French, Israeli etc., not all Americans should be judged by our leader just like they would not want to be judged by theirs.

I am not naive, nor arrogant enough to ignore the damage the US has done and is doing abroad.  I do try to point out the positive and the seesaw of dependency in international relations.  I understand that my choice for the next US President will affect the lives of millions abroad far more than my own.  I have been asked a few times am I Indian or American?  Which one takes priority for me?  For Indians, I am less of an outsider…I am an Indian irregardless of where I am a citizen.  My answer is that I don’t value either aspect of myself more than the other.  I am Indian, its my ethnicity, Kolkata is where I was born…my flesh and blood is shared more closely with these people than those at home.  I am a proud American, my adopted country gave me the opportunity to be who I am.  There are few places in the world where I could thrive and grow with relative ease.  I am proud of our values, perhaps implementation is imperfect but the ideals of equality and opportunity is seared into the American psyche.  I do not have a preset destiny as an American but an open road to become who I want to be..I’m proud of that.  I am proud to be Indian, the culture and history that by a loose extension I am tied to is breathtaking.  The people here are so warm and kind, and I’m proud to be a part of that.  Like the US, Indians fought for independence and have built themselves up from nothing to become a power broker in the world.

I am proud to show others both in the US and India that having two less limbs doesn’t change who a person is.  I was telling one of my Indian friends last night that I am not that extraordinary, not smarter, not more clever or creative.  I did the best with what I was given which is what we all do, I’m not different than anyone else.  Crossing the roads here is a feat for a hero and the locals do it with ease and grace.  I could focus on how amazing it is that these folks can do this so easily and allow my fear to convince me that I do not possess the same ability.  But I want to cross the road, so I swallow that fear and take my first step and quickly find that with a little practice I too can cross the road.  Granted not with the same ease or grace.

I will continue to represent what I symbolize to others in the best way that I can and hope that out of all of the people who know about me, that a few on this trip will get to know me.

I’m a failure

So, off I went today to the orphanage for my first day of volunteering, with a quick stop to the place with western desserts as a treat to myself.  I decided to walk there today rather than contending with the possible human right violation of the rickshaw driver and the time consuming attempt to get one out of 20 taxi drivers to take me.  It was about a 45 minute walk and I took some of the side streets which yielded a lot of stimulation for my brain.  Actually, it was sort of quiet today, being Sunday.  I was able to cross the street without muttering “please God don’t let me die here” under my breath.  A side note about getting around in Kolkata: everyone pretty much does what they want when they want.  Not so much with letting pedestrians cross the street or cars staying in lanes.  Its a chaotic mish mash of cars, rickshaws and people getting where they need to with the ever so lovely loud bleep of car horns.  I’ve started to hear the horns in my sleep, oh wait a minute…they are still honking when I’m asleep

I walked through a mechanical section full of men repairing motorcycles and testing their horns.  In between they were bathing themselves as well.  Stupendous multitasking if you ask me.  I made my way to Shishu Bhavan and arrived to early and had to wait(they close everyday from 12-3 for prayer).  I took a picture of one of the vendors outside and was warned by a few military folks to not trust anyone and then decided I would wait inside where it was quieter and no people.  I plopped myself down and readied myself for a nice cleansing meditation as I had a half an hour to kill when I heard some pretty catchy music.  I thought maybe it was a religious parade of some sort and jumped up and out the gate to see(meditation, smeditation.)  It was a wedding procession of about five cars, first the groom with about 10 of his relatives squished in the car with him, then the bride with about 20 of her relatives.  There was a band in the front playing music and people from the street danced alongside the cars.  It was really cool to see.

Finally 3 o’clock rolled around and one of the nuns came out to greet me, when she heard that I was volunteering she asked where I was from and I told her the story.  She pinched my cheeks in delight(nuns love to pinch cheeks) and escorted me to where the real Shishu Bhavan was as I had gotten the wrong building.  I along with two women from Switzerland accompanied a nun upstairs to where the disabled children were.  Kids with everything from CP to downs syndrome were in the playroom grooving to “Santa Claus is coming to town”, a few of them came up to us and wanted to be picked up.  A little girl grabbed on to my waist and I tried to explain I couldn’t pick her up, strike one.  She gave me a disgusted look and ambled to someone who would pick her up.  Hmmm, I sat down next to a few kids and one of the girls scooted over to me and wanted me to put her shoe back on, I attempted to do this but she pulled her foot back, shook her head and pointed to where my arm should be…strike two.  We repeated this fun interaction a few times before she too fled to someone who could help her.  A really precious little guy came up and held out his hand to be held, I put my foot out and smiled….he stared for awhile as I tried to cajole him but was having none of that…and that my friends is strike three.

Then one of the sisters came in and asked me and the two women to follow her, we went to where the toddlers live and she talked to a few women before she finally turned to me and said that my volunteer gig didn’t start until tomorrow.  Frankly, this was a relief because I wasn’t doing such a great job and had some time to think of creative ways to get these kids to like me(normally I just buy kids stuff, can’t do that here.)

I went back to the Mother House to give the pictures to Sister MM(the one who was at the orphanage when I was a baby).  We chatted a bit and she told me about her job and time with MC, she then turned to me and said “Are you Catholic?”…oooohhh, was really hoping to avoid this chat with the nuns.  I said I had been raised Baptist but had a bit of a open idea when it comes to religion and God, that I liked a lot of things about all of the religions.  She looked at me and said dryly, “thats fine for now but when you get older you are gonna need to commit to a religion, none of this moving around in religions”, I thought…fair enough.  Then she asked me if I had a boyfriend or husband and I said “no, I’m too stubborn and independent”, without skipping a beat she told me about a man who had one of his legs amputated and then got a prosthetic, and now he is happy and married.  In my head I’m thinking “seriously Sister MM, not having prosthetics is the least of my worries in terms of my single life”, but instead I smiled and nodded.  We wrapped up our chat but not before she made sure I was going to either attend a 7am Mass or 6pm Adoration, I went with the latter.

So, not feeling tremendously successful in my day, I wound my way back to my hotel and collapsed, its hard to get time to myself and my hotel room is a nice respite.  Though, the staff knowing Nina was gone buzzed me a few times to ask me if I needed anything…very sweet.  Off to get food now, hope everyone is well.

About 2 hours and 13 minutes

    This morning I was thinking about all kind of eloquent things to say in my last posting before I left but frankly those things are escaping me now.  In true Amanda fashion, I just finished my packing and cleaning with a few hours to spare before I need to be at the airport.

I was reflecting about the beauty in simplicity and the magic of mundane activities.  As I stand at the threshold of what will likely be a life changing experience I really enjoyed little things today like reading the news online, drinking my coffee, taking a shower….on the other hand(foot?) I do think that traveling is great because it gets me out of my comfort zone and realize that my at times, rigid patterns and habits are not all that important.  I can survive without them   But comfort is nice too…

My blessings have been punctuated for me in the last few months as I have been able to spend time with all of you.  I am truly lucky, more than I can articulate!   Thank you for all of your support and I am so delighted I get to share my journey with you.  For those of you worried about my safety, please try not to.  I am an acutely aware person and understand that my primary responsibility is to get myself back in one piece so not to cause you all any further grief…than I already do.

Ok, I am tired and probably should get a few minutes of shut eye.  I will be arriving in Kolkata(India changed many of their cities’ names to take the power back from the era of British rule) just before midnight on the 31st for you…when your toasting the new year, send some cheer my way!  More then.

picture

Am still trying to get a hang of this blog thing, here’s the picture I was talking about.